Trauma Style - Fawn

Becks - Journey to Wellness
Jul 26, 2024
4 min read

Updated: Jan 23

So, you took our quiz and found out that your trauma & threat response is fawn.

(Didn't take the quiz? 👇🏼)

Does this sound familiar?

You say “yes” even when you want to say “no” because it’s easier than upsetting someone.
You feel like your emotions are a mirror of everyone else’s—always absorbing their moods and walking on eggshells.
You struggle to relax in social situations, hyper-aware of what others are thinking or feeling.
Setting boundaries feels impossible—like you’ll lose someone’s approval if you try.
You feel tension in your jaw, throat, or shoulders—like you’re holding back words or feelings.

This is the fawn response, also known as "please & appease." It’s your nervous system’s way of keeping you safe by avoiding conflict and prioritising others’ needs over your own.

It probably started in environments where you felt powerless or unsafe:

Growing up with a tough or unpredictable parent
Navigating a home with rigid expectations
Experiencing bullying or rejection at school
Dealing with someone whose love felt conditional

You might have learned to read emotions like a pro—to keep the peace, avoid harm, or just feel accepted. But over time, this can leave you disconnected from your own needs, emotions, and sense of self.

What You Might Be Struggling With

Maybe you’ve tried:

Reading books about boundaries, but you can’t figure out how to enforce them.
Journaling your feelings, but it’s hard to even know what they are.
Following self-care routines, but they never seem to stick.

You might feel stuck in cycles of:

Overthinking conversations, replaying what you “should” have said.
Feeling resentful after saying “yes” to things you didn’t want to do.
Constantly worrying about whether people like you or approve of you.

Here’s the truth: these struggles aren’t your fault. Your nervous system has been doing what it learned to do to protect you. But you don’t have to stay stuck here.

My Own Journey with Fawn

I know exactly how it feels to live in the fawn response. For years, I couldn’t say “no” to anyone. I’d bend over backward to make sure everyone else was okay, even when it left me feeling exhausted and invisible. And especially when it meant prioritising someone else's comfort over my own.

I remember one day standing in the middle of my kitchen, overwhelmed with resentment and guilt, thinking, Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I just say no? It felt like I didn’t even know who I was anymore because I was so focused on being who everyone else needed me to be.

Healing didn’t happen overnight, but it started when I learned how to connect with my nervous system, recognise my triggers, and practice small but powerful tools to shift out of survival mode. Over time, I began setting boundaries that felt good, trusting myself more, and actually feeling calm in situations that used to send me spiralling.

Your Next Steps

You don’t have to figure this all out alone. Healing the fawn response is a journey, but it’s one you can absolutely take—one small step at a time.

It's SO important to understand that this is NOT just a 'cognitive' issue - this is not about changing your thoughts or simply being told to "say no more" 🙄

It goes much deeper.

👉🏼 This is about completely rewiring your nervous system to feel safe.

👉🏼 Learning an embodied way of truly knowing what a 'yes' and 'no' feels like in your body

👉🏼 Having access to your voice, your needs & your own emotions

👉🏼 Being able to form energetic boundaries to protect yourself from carrying the emotions and responsility of others

👉🏼 Deeply connecting to your own values & living in alignment with yourself

And while I absolutely can and WILL teach you how to shift your beliefs at cognitive level - I will also show you how to do this at the deeper layers of your unconscious to rewire patterns in your body too.

Are you ready?

Inside the Journey to Wellness Membership, you’ll find everything you need to start shifting these patterns and feeling more confident, calm, and connected:

Somatic practices to help you reset your nervous system in just 15 minutes a day
Step-by-step guidance for letting go of stored trauma
Workshops, classes, and tools for boundaries, self-regulation, and emotional balance

When you join, you’ll get access to:

✅ Courses like Bye Bye People Pleasing and The Trauma Toolbox

✅ Monthly somatic release classes

✅ Guest expert workshops

✅ A supportive community with personalised guidance from me

What Others Have Said

"Until I took Rebekah's course on people pleasing and the fawn response, I didn't realise just how much fawning was shaping my feelings about myself and my relationships with others. This course gave me a more compassionate way to respond when I notice I am triggered, and to move away from self-blame toward healthy, safe boundaries with others. The mix of somatic and cognitive practices has given me a genuinely usable toolkit to start healing from people pleasing. I know I will come back to this course again and again as a valuable resource on my healing journey." - Francesca